


DDR But Worse

by stinkygf



Category: Rick and Morty
Genre: Original Character(s), Self-Insert, Tagging as I go, fun times all around
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-24
Updated: 2020-01-24
Packaged: 2021-02-27 03:42:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,225
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22390474
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stinkygf/pseuds/stinkygf
Summary: Come along with Dan and Rick and Danni as they go on their latest adventure with Rick to the Citadel! Who knows what kind of wacky situations the trio might get into but one thing is for certain, the author should be killed for creating something this self indulgent!!
Comments: 1
Kudos: 1





	DDR But Worse

It was quiet. As it should be at four in the morning, one would argue, the only sound in the small room was the whirring of the fan and the occasional bed creeks that came from the bed whenever its owner would move around in bed. 

In the creeky bed laid a perfectly average young adult who was currently cradling the blankets close to her chest. Her hair was a mess from moving around too much, shifting around to get under the covers more when a particular draft hit her nose and made her cold. A phone was sitting right next to her and the only thing that was needed to make her wake up would be her twenty something alarms for her morning classes.

Of course, something else could wake her up. 

That something came in the form of a grossly neon green portal that popped into existence in her room. From the portal stepped in a tall lanky man with blue hair and a small frown on thin lips.

The man looked around the room, only able to see what the portal illuminated but from what he could see so far he wasn’t very impressed. Nothing more interesting that an eighteen year olds bedroom after all. It was actually depressing how boring it was aside from the poorly hidden junk that was stuffed underneath books. 

Rick set his sights on the person in bed then narrowed his eyes. Fixing his rolled up sleeves for show he cracked his knuckles and yanked the blankets from her sleeping body until she was visible and awake. 

“Jesus fucking-” Came her breathy response. Rick rolled his eyes and crossed his arms over his chest. Screw him for acting as if she was in his time when he's the one that had portaled his way into her room. What a dick. 

She ran her fingers through her hair and blinked a few times to adjust then looked up to the perp. Her eyes narrowed at him to see in the poorly lit room and once she was able to see properly she sighed deeply and fall back down onto the bed, pulling the blankets up to cover herself again.

“Oh hell no. Get up you little twerp, we’re gonna go on a, on another adventure. I know you were just dying to do something worthwhile with your life,” Rick grinned mockingly down at her as he grabbed at her ankle. 

“You wouldn’t dare.” 

His grin widened while she scrambled to grab anything. 

“wAIT RICK-” With a loud thump she fell onto the floor. She groaned as she rubbed her forehead and slowly sat up, grumbling angrily under her breath. 

“Yeah yeah shut up. Put on some clothes you don’t mind getting alien goop on and we can go grab your dumb friend.” 

Rick made himself comfortable on your bed as he snatched your phone though was nice enough to keep it on the charger. She was far too tired to fight back and went into her closet to grab some clothes, ignoring anything that Rick was saying as he scrolled through her phone. 

She walked out, grabbing a cardigan that she was only 80% sure was clean and slipped it on. Putting her shoes on she held her hand out towards him.

He glanced up at her then down at her then back up to her. “I’m not gonna hold your hand.”

“Give me my freaking phone, oldie.” 

He scoffed. “Nice insult,” he handed it over. “Whatever. Jus- Just get in the portal. Your buddy should be awake maybe so I won’t have to wake up him like I did to you.” 

She followed behind him silently. It was far too early/late to be dealing with the mad scientist and she was not in the right state of mind to be getting sassy with him. In the span of the two or so seconds of stepping into the portal she was wondering why she was even willing to go off on whatever adventure he was talking about.

Danni wasn’t smart by any means but that didn’t mean that she was a complete and total dumbass. The first dumb adventure they went on as a trio went by well but she had been completly under the impression that it was a one off thing and that Rick wouldn’t come back into their lives. It was still pretty insane to realize that what was a character in your dimension was actually a real person and only sort of lived everything that you watched them go through.

He was now her Rick from dimension D-25719 and the only reason why he had shown up in her and her friends life was because he was bored.

“Yeah uh, some techy Rick was talking about how he’s supposed to check in on the dimensions that have us as cartoon characters and that some ‘fan’ doesn’t get the bright idea to try and see if Rick Sanchez could possibly be real. He was supposed to come and check on you and your little friend because for some reason you,” he had poked her chest when he first explained why he was there with them. “Looooove to talk about fucking me and your pal, uuuhh, Dan likes to draw Ricks in his spare time. That Rick was gonna fuck around with you two for a bit but when he was gonna vist he got a dick appointment and wanted to push you two losers onto someone else. I just so happened to be listening in and took the job. You’re welcome.”

She wasn’t impressed when she first heard his explanation. “Yeah well I don’t care about what you think. I’m a fucking god and you should be lucky that I even took your ass with me. ‘M mostly after you buddy.”

Danni snickered at the memory and made a mental note to bring that little tidbit up to Dan when they met again. Speaking of.. “Oh god here we go again.” Came the familiar voice of her dear friend, Dan.

Danni grinned wide and held her arms out for him, laughing when he walked over to hug her, snickering softly as he did. “‘S good to see you too, Danny boy.”

Laughing, Dan hugged back and squeezes her gently before pulling away and wrapping an arm over her shoulders. “So what’s it this time?”

“You sound like I’ve taken you twerps on more than one outing. What- what makes you think that this is gonna be interesting?” Rick scoffed.

Dan’s face fell a bit. “Oh um, I-I don’t know I kinda assumed-“

“Thaaaat was your first mistake, _Dan._ You should never assume things when I’m in your life. I’m- Im- I’m all sporadic and shit and spontaneous! You never know what’s gonna happen with me around!” 

The two dumbasses stood there for a second after he finished his mini rant. They glanced at each other then looked to Rick, only a little bit hurt. To be fair to them it had been a few months since they last saw Rick so it was going to take a good minute or so to get used to his confidence crushing rambles. Not that they were used to it before but you know.

“So we’re not gonna do something fun or..?” Danni piped up biting back a snicker once she semi got over the second hand embarrassment from her friend, earning her an elbow jab from him.

Rick made iffy hand motions in the air. “Definitely not fun for me but might be to you two. You know about the Citadel, right. Of course you do, a couple of fans that crave th- that sweet old man dong. This is toootally gonna be fun for you two. Trust me.”

The grin on his face made them not want to trust him.

“You’re not gonna like leave us there or something?” Dan asked as he slipped his shoes on.

“If he did we could find a different Rick and hop into his universe,” Danni mused. “There’s infinite versions of ourselves so we’re not all that important to our Rick.”

Rick’s eyes narrowed at her and reached over to flick her nose. She gasped. “Hey!-”

“Shut up, you rolly polly. I’m not your Rick, you two don’t have one. You two are actually pretty rare and since I’m unfortunately entertained by you two I have to protect you or whatever or else you’ll end up on the black market. Pocket Morty’s kinda died down but there’s still some freaks out there that will kidnap your dumb selves if they p pop had the chance. Got that?” 

Danni griminced, shrinking away from him and laughing nervously. “Uhm, yeah. Yeah yeah, got it.” 

Rick nodded. “Good. Alright now that we got the dumb banter out of the way let’s get out of here.”

A familiar rush of excitement laced fear washed over the pair. Their last trip with Rick was relatively tame with them going to explore some planets that he said were like tourist traps for space explorers. They bounced from planet to planet until they wound up on a planet that was filled with miles upon miles of glowing flowers where they could stare at the stars for as long as they’d like. It was an amazing wind down from the insane day they had and even Rick was smiling from the peace no matter how hard he tried to hide it. 

The most that they thought they were going to get out of this little trip was that they might talk with some of the other Ricks at the citadel and learn how the new president was handling things. Of course that thought alone put the normie duo on edge having seen the show and knowing what a secretive shit head that Morty was but hey, they probably won’t get involved in it.

Probably.

Hopefully.

“Hey,” Rick barked, snapping Danni from her spiraling thoughts. “Wake up ding dong we gotta get going. There’s a seminar over how to make the most out of one flurbo and I gotta go to enter the raffle to win a lifetime supply of wrinkle cream so I can sell it on the market. I’m not letting your dumb self stop my schemes just cause you wanna stare at the wall.”

Dan barely tried to hide his laugh, nudging her to stand beside him. “Dreaming of Rick Dick, again?” He teased.

She grinned, hand now on her forehead and fake swooning. “I was and what a shame it was to be rudely interrupted by reality. We were sitting under a shady tree and watching our children frolic in the grass.”

A laugh exploded from him as he doubled over, snorting a few times which made Danni join him and cackle.

Rick on the other hand was not amused. “Are you done? Come on.” He shot a portal and pointed at it, unibrow in an angry v as his narrowed eyes glared at them.

“Alright dad.” Dan was the first to step inside.

“That’s d-daddy to you, pipsqueak.” Rick shot back before setting his sights on Danni.

She hadn’t stepped inside the portal yet. Rick groaned out loud and nudged her to it. “Hold up I’m just..”

“What? Gonna back out in me now?” 

“No! I’m just,” she paused. “I’m just worried.”

“Worried about what. I’m gonna be there to keep you two scamps out of trouble and not get brutally murdered by other Ricks. This is gonna be a breeze.”

It was only a split second of calm on Ricks face as he spoke, his lips twitching into a smile before shifting back into a wicked smirk and he swung an arm around her shoulders.

“Besides! If you get caught up in some sex traffic ring then I promise I’ll be the first to rent you.” He winked.

“Alright alright I get it. You’ll protect us or whatever shut up already. Go in, I’ll be there in a second.”

Rick laughed as he walked into the portal, leaving her standing there by herself. The room was too quiet for her liking to just be there by herself with her own stupid brain. The gravity of the situation had barely started to sink in and she was already coming up with the worst possible outcomes that this trip could bring. Namely how something was probably going to happen to them. They weren't really supposed to know that any of this was real so who's to say that someone won't come after them?

A knot found itself in her stomach once more as she stared at it. 

“Don’t kill us,” she mumbled, one foot in. “Please.” The rest of her body followed suit and she found herself in the citadel with millions of Ricks and Morty’s walking about. The place was a lot more beat up than how they imagined but in turn felt more lived in. There were more skyscrapers with bizarre designs, more unique Ricks and Morty's with some other people mixed in, more stuff that made it feel a lot more home-y instead of some government safe haven. It was huge.

Their Rick stood between them and placed a hand on their shoulders and grinned. “Well kids, here we are. Try not to get lost.” 

Dan and Danni exchanged glances. Oh boy.

**Author's Note:**

> 2020 is the year that i decide to be nice to myself and write a self insert with me and my friend. let's hope that this fic doesn't suck too bad


End file.
